In January, I was told me my position was being eliminated. The date of when that would happen has changed several times over the last months, from June 1st, to September and finally December 31st. I know they’re doing it to help me, and they really don’t want to have to lose me, which is why the date has been extended as long as possible, but it’s made me feel rather helpless. I’ve worked hard for this company. I’ve changed jobs and taken on new responsibilities for them. I’m a value to their organization, and they’re going to let me go just like that. Not because they have too (we recorded our highest profits last year in the company’s history) but because they think it just make sense to down size people to keep those high profits.
All of this has led me to really think about some things I haven’t had to before, like what I want from the future. Even the company I work for knows I’m not passionate about what I do there. They know about my writing, but I’d been okay going to work there, doing my job, working hard, and that’s it. But shouldn’t I want more? Shouldn’t I want to wake up every day passionate about what I do?
As I thought more about it, they only thing I feel passionate about is my writing. Sure I have other things I enjoy, I love my furry babies, my family, I like to help people and enjoy books. But every morning I wake up the first thing I think about my characters, my stories, and all I want to do is write. So finally a few months ago I decided to make a plan to write fulltime. It’s a combination of financial goals, like pay off my home and save money for the what ifs of life, and writing goals, like publish a certain number of books. I call it my Freedom plan, and so far I’m sticking to it, though it’s only been a few months.
This new plan gives me hope, that one day I’ll be able to control my own future, that I will really be free of the whims of companies and business. I am so thankful for my writing and the freedom that it offers me, and that I live in a country where I can do what I want, even write smutty novels. And that I can build a future on what I love is a real gift. So I am very thankful for this day and the freedom that we all have in this country.
This fourth means something extra special to me, because I can now understand and appreciate the pursuit of happiness all the better. And now I’m actively working towards my own happiness for the first time.
Happy Fourth of July everyone!!! I hope it’s filled with family, friends, BBQs and your own happy times.